This post is scary for me to share because being vulnerable is terrifying, but let’s try👇🏻 After everything that’s happened over the last few months, I find myself slipping into some old patterns. I started seeing a therapist five years ago because I didn’t believe I existed. I was so internally checked out due to stress (among other things), that I didn’t feel anything. After the intrusive thoughts started, I knew I needed to see someone. I searched for therapists in my area and went to two others before I found my person. After sharing my story, I learned that this was my brain’s way of protecting me. My therapist told me what I was feeling was called Dissociation and Call of the Void (the scary thoughts) and that it was actually incredibly common. Note: If you don’t mesh well with the first/second therapist, try another. Obviously I didn’t want these feelings/thoughts anymore, so I began practicing different methods on how to bring myself back to being me. The ones that worked best for me were: • Dipping my head in a bowl of ice water • Meditating (I am SO bad at sticking with this routine, but it really does help) • Counting the colors. I will try to find every shade of green (etc) around me. • Journaling • Greeting the emotions, accepting them and knowing they are temporary and will pass. Now, healing is not linear & it’s different for everyone.And not everyone is going to understand your healing journey. Read that again. Not everyone will be supportive of the work your doing. But this is YOUR WORK for YOURSELF. Sharing this is scary to me, but even if it helps one person, it’s worth it. I love y’all. Thank you for allowing me to be so vulnerable. You are not alone. Note: I recognize my privilege for being able to have a therapist. I hope that a few of the coping mechanisms and terms I shared today are helpful in anyone else’s journey who may not be able to see a therapist.
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