TW: Mental Health, Intrusive Thoughts & Dissociation.

This post is scary for me to share because being vulnerable is terrifying, but let’s try👇🏻 After everything that’s happened over the last few months, I find myself slipping into some old patterns. I started seeing a therapist five years ago because I didn’t believe I existed. I was so internally checked out due to stress (among other things), that I didn’t feel anything. After the intrusive thoughts started, I knew I needed to see someone. I searched for therapists in my area and went to two others before I found my person. After sharing my story, I learned that this was my brain’s way of protecting me. My therapist told me what I was feeling was called Dissociation and Call of the Void (the scary thoughts) and that it was actually incredibly common. Note: If you don’t mesh well with the first/second therapist, try another. Obviously I didn’t want these feelings/thoughts anymore, so I began practicing different methods on how to bring myself back to being me. The ones that worked best for me were: • Dipping my head in a bowl of ice water • Meditating (I am SO bad at sticking with this routine, but it really does help) • Counting the colors. I will try to find every shade of green (etc) around me. • Journaling • Greeting the emotions, accepting them and knowing they are temporary and will pass. Now, healing is not linear & it’s different for everyone.

And not everyone is going to understand your healing journey. Read that again. Not everyone will be supportive of the work your doing. But this is YOUR WORK for YOURSELF. Sharing this is scary to me, but even if it helps one person, it’s worth it. I love y’all. Thank you for allowing me to be so vulnerable. You are not alone. Note: I recognize my privilege for being able to have a therapist. I hope that a few of the coping mechanisms and terms I shared today are helpful in anyone else’s journey who may not be able to see a therapist.

21 thoughts on “TW: Mental Health, Intrusive Thoughts & Dissociation.”

  1. This post is scary for me to share because being vulnerable is terrifying, but let’s try👇🏻

    After everything that’s happened over the last few months, I find myself slipping into some old patterns.

    I started seeing a therapist five years ago because I didn’t believe I existed. I was so internally checked out due to stress (among other things), that I didn’t feel anything.

    After the intrusive thoughts started, I knew I needed to see someone. I searched for therapists in my area and went to two others before I found my person. After sharing my story, I learned that this was my brain’s way of protecting me. My therapist told me what I was feeling was called Dissociation and Call of the Void (the scary thoughts) and that it was actually incredibly common.

    Note: If you don’t mesh well with the first/second therapist, try another.

    Obviously I didn’t want these feelings/thoughts anymore, so I began practicing different methods on how to bring myself back to being me. The ones that worked best for me were:
    • Dipping my head in a bowl of ice water
    • Meditating (I am SO bad at sticking with this routine, but it really does help)
    • Counting the colors. I will try to find every shade of green (etc) around me.
    • Journaling
    • Greeting the emotions, accepting them and knowing they are temporary and will pass.

    Now, healing is not linear & it’s different for everyone. And not everyone is going to understand your healing journey. Read that again. Not everyone will be supportive of the work your doing. But this is YOUR WORK for YOURSELF.

    Sharing this is scary to me, but even if it helps one person, it’s worth it. I love y’all. Thank you for allowing me to be so vulnerable.

    You are not alone.

    Note: I recognize my privilege for being able to have a therapist. I hope that a few of the coping mechanisms and terms I shared today are helpful in anyone else’s journey who may not be able to see a therapist.

    1. do you know you can have this feeling of disconnect from reality when you have a vitamin b deficiency? especially niacin and b1, you can go buy some and start taking them and try it for yourself, you will notice the difference, make sure you get the niacin, the type gives you flush, not niacinamide!

    2. Dissociation is terrifying. I have other mental health conditions that cause me to dissociate and I’ve ended up in some really scary situations because of it
      I had a coworker who was playing into all my traumas, who knows why, and put me in a spot where my brain thought the only solution was to dissociate. At work. I was terrified.
      All of this ended up in me needing to take a leave of absence because the stress and discrimination got to be too much in addition to my stressors at home.

      I ended up getting fired because everything that happened resulted in me being constantly anxious about going back, to the point where I’d end up sick.

  2. My second born daughter has been seeing a therapist. She had a bad meltdown this year which brought me to tears. I stayed with her for a week. She felt better and I was able to return home. I’m glad she found a hood therapist. I didn’t know what was going with her and needed an answer.

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